I don't imagine I need to say much more to some of you, but for those of you who care, this is Twitchy Dolphin Flix mockumentary that features a serial killer stalking and offing the cast of an adult movie that the makers have dubbed as the next step in porn.
I wonder how many of you even bothered to read that…
QUAD-X: THE PORN MOVIE MASSACRE (2014)
Dir: James Christopher
Starring: Daniel Cano, Terissa Kelton, Ariane Powell, Colby Wallingsford, Will McKenna, Duncan Coe, Elena Weinberg, Benjamin Jabe, Mike Donis, Sarah England, Christian Swacker, Andrea Dettling, Vanessa Vayle Perry, Marc Wasserman, Derek Babb, Mary Cate, Brittany Flurry, Mallory Larson, James Christopher
SPEEDY SYNOPSIS: I'll try not to spoil too much here but read on at your own risk.
The movie opens with down on his luck documentary maker Christopher Shearer (Cano) resentfully agreeing to shoot the behind the scenes footage of adult film studio Quad-X's latest movie, a film which is said to be the biggest budget porno of all time.
So former star and new president of XXXX Ginger (Kelton) gathers a team including ambitious director of photography Lucas (Coe) and her disgruntled assistant Reagan (Cate)
They will be shooting a misfit group of stars including ageing legend Hard Rocket (Wasserman), the erectile dysfunctional Beaver Slayer (Wallingsford), jaded Chastity (Dettling), wholesome former teacher Miss Prissy (Perry), sweet and ditsy Serenity (Weinberg) — and the gay father of her child and film producer Sugar Bumps (Babb) — extreme star Ghastly Eve (Flurry), fiery latina Vageana (Larson) and Cherry (Powell), who had once become a born again christian and renounced her sinful ways before a messy break-up has brought her back to the adult film industry.
However, after a murder rocks the production two policemen, straight laced Det Antonio (writer/director Christopher) and porn fanboy Det England (Donis), are called in to investigate.
As if that wasn't enough there's a side plot involving Quad-X's writers Drew (Jabe), Jenna (England) and Joey (Swacker), a fateful accident in the office and the lengths to which those responsible will go to cover their tracks.
Who is responsible for the murders? Who will survive? And will they ever shoot the movie?
THE BEST BITS (mild spoiler warning): As you'd probably expect from a movie with this title, Quad-X: The Porn Movie Massacre is a lot of fun. There are some genuinely hilarious moments, propelled along by an oddball group of characters. However, I was pleasantly surprised by the fact that the film is not as mean-spirited or appallingly sexist as the title may lead you to believe.
No, this is a story that favours laughs over lust and I really think that worked in its favour. The huge cast give their all and each of the characters gets a chance to deliver a winning quip: from the jovial Eastern European former XXXX president Jimmy (McKenna) to camp as hell Sugar Bumps to the permanently pissed off Shearer and Reagan, nobody lets the side down.
The acting is pretty good (another pleasant surprise as I went in expecting late-night, soft core level 'performances') and never gets in the way of the audience's enjoyment of the flick. I especially want to praise Kenton and Powell for their superb work, plus Weinberg delivers the goods in two roles. I also thought that the very entertaining Wallingsford and Wasserman nailed their roles (excuse the pun). The cast are an attractive bunch (as you'd expect in this sort of film) but they also have some acting ability to back up their good looks.
The script is tightly written with lots of great gags, with some very quotable dialogue that I'm sure will help this movie find a cult following. With such a large cast, the story (written by director Christopher and Carlo Rodriguez) has to pack in a lot and, for the most part, this is done well. As nonsensical as some of the character decisions may seem (this is a slasher film though, it does go with the territory) the movie stays on track, never losing sight of itself, a difficult task indeed when spinning so many plates at once.
In fact, the Scream-like finale makes perfect sense (if feeling a little convoluted) and with clear character motivations propelling the story forward, the movie is far less jumbled than it has any right to be.
On the subject of Scream, it's obvious that THE genre redefining hit of the 90s had a large influence on Christopher and his team. From the familiar creepy phonecall opening scene (cleverly twisted to now take in a phone sex worker instead of a hapless teen), right down to the killer's decidedly familiar attire, there are some clear homages included onscreen, but it also does a superb job of capturing that self-aware meta quality that Craven's Scream (and, to a lesser extent, his earlier New Nightmare) delivered in spades. Certain touches, such as the grainy visuals and slightly off dubbing in some scenes, were clever callbacks to the days of cheaply made 'adult' videos, while the various discussions with characters involved in the creation of the movie regarding the trials and tribulations of those working in the porn industry actually raise some pretty valid points. This all suggests there's a lot more thought and wit behind Quad-X than you may first be lead to believe.
Finally, it's quite rare to find a movie in which the cast and crew are all clearly having fun — but in Quad-X that is definitely the case. It's difficult to resist the laughs when it's obvious that everybody involved in the making of the flick was having such a great time. For this, I wish them all plenty of success with the movie.
THE WORST BITS (mild spoiler warning): I've mentioned already that I was pleasantly surprised to discover that Quad-X: The Porn Movie Massacre is a somewhat misleading title. However, this could also act as a hindrance to the movie. It sounds like the sort of flick that should be wall-to-wall naked flesh and gruesome gore scenes — this is most definitely NOT the case. There's no nudity at all (sorry, anorak-brigade) and the killings (of which there are plenty) are surprisingly tame and offer very little in the way of splatter-effects. First and foremost, Quad X is a comedy, with some horror elements. It would probably have been easier to make an out-and-out porn-horror hybrid (and I'm sure somebody will be kind enough to let me know if such a thing exists in the comments below!) and would also have seen the audience find a larger, if slightly unsavoury, audience.
If you're going in to this expecting titillation or terror, keep moving. This is not that sort of movie.
Earlier I praised the large cast and way in which the plot keeps going in a logical way, however, the film still feels as if it is slightly bloated. Characters are introduced simply to be killed within moments, sub-plots get lost in the mix and, at times, things can become a little confusing as the audience is expected to keep track of plenty of threads at once, some of which even feel a little as if they contradict the chronology of others. I've read a couple of other reviews of the movie that refer to it as simply a bunch of events that take place with little or no connectivity or reason – I'd definitely not go that far, but can understand how viewers could lose the plot or become confused if they aren't devoting their full attention to the flick.
Speaking of the cast, there were some times in which their delivery faltered somewhat. Now, this may have been a deliberate attempt to encapsulate some of the laughable performances that you usually see from adult entertainers, but I'm honestly not sure that is what they were going for here. As I'm a nice guy I'll give the Quad-X crew the benefit of the doubt.
Finally (and this is a point I find myself making very often here at Hickey's House of Horrors) this is a low-budget indie flick. It's certainly not a badly made effort, but the production values on display here are significantly lower than you will see on most big studio films. I don't mind this (especially as it adds to the whole porno feel) but if your idea of a little low-budget horror flick is the likes of Insidious 3, you may well need to adjust your expectations accordingly.
THE VERDICT: Quad-X is not going to win any Oscars, nor do I imagine that it will fly straight to the top of many people's favourite movie lists. However, it is fun, entertaining, witty and has more than enough going for it to make it worthwhile for those who fancy a bit of humour. It has a likeable cast, some punchy dialogue, a surprisingly clever plot and offers a nice high body-count. It's far from perfect but it may well surprise those of you who wrote this film off as soon as you read the title.
If you want to find out more about Quad X, check out the official Facebook page for Twitchy Dolphin Flix here. Give them a Like while you're there too, I'm sure they'd appreciate it!
The script is tightly written with lots of great gags, with some very quotable dialogue that I'm sure will help this movie find a cult following. With such a large cast, the story (written by director Christopher and Carlo Rodriguez) has to pack in a lot and, for the most part, this is done well. As nonsensical as some of the character decisions may seem (this is a slasher film though, it does go with the territory) the movie stays on track, never losing sight of itself, a difficult task indeed when spinning so many plates at once.
In fact, the Scream-like finale makes perfect sense (if feeling a little convoluted) and with clear character motivations propelling the story forward, the movie is far less jumbled than it has any right to be.
On the subject of Scream, it's obvious that THE genre redefining hit of the 90s had a large influence on Christopher and his team. From the familiar creepy phonecall opening scene (cleverly twisted to now take in a phone sex worker instead of a hapless teen), right down to the killer's decidedly familiar attire, there are some clear homages included onscreen, but it also does a superb job of capturing that self-aware meta quality that Craven's Scream (and, to a lesser extent, his earlier New Nightmare) delivered in spades. Certain touches, such as the grainy visuals and slightly off dubbing in some scenes, were clever callbacks to the days of cheaply made 'adult' videos, while the various discussions with characters involved in the creation of the movie regarding the trials and tribulations of those working in the porn industry actually raise some pretty valid points. This all suggests there's a lot more thought and wit behind Quad-X than you may first be lead to believe.
Finally, it's quite rare to find a movie in which the cast and crew are all clearly having fun — but in Quad-X that is definitely the case. It's difficult to resist the laughs when it's obvious that everybody involved in the making of the flick was having such a great time. For this, I wish them all plenty of success with the movie.
THE WORST BITS (mild spoiler warning): I've mentioned already that I was pleasantly surprised to discover that Quad-X: The Porn Movie Massacre is a somewhat misleading title. However, this could also act as a hindrance to the movie. It sounds like the sort of flick that should be wall-to-wall naked flesh and gruesome gore scenes — this is most definitely NOT the case. There's no nudity at all (sorry, anorak-brigade) and the killings (of which there are plenty) are surprisingly tame and offer very little in the way of splatter-effects. First and foremost, Quad X is a comedy, with some horror elements. It would probably have been easier to make an out-and-out porn-horror hybrid (and I'm sure somebody will be kind enough to let me know if such a thing exists in the comments below!) and would also have seen the audience find a larger, if slightly unsavoury, audience.
If you're going in to this expecting titillation or terror, keep moving. This is not that sort of movie.
Earlier I praised the large cast and way in which the plot keeps going in a logical way, however, the film still feels as if it is slightly bloated. Characters are introduced simply to be killed within moments, sub-plots get lost in the mix and, at times, things can become a little confusing as the audience is expected to keep track of plenty of threads at once, some of which even feel a little as if they contradict the chronology of others. I've read a couple of other reviews of the movie that refer to it as simply a bunch of events that take place with little or no connectivity or reason – I'd definitely not go that far, but can understand how viewers could lose the plot or become confused if they aren't devoting their full attention to the flick.
Speaking of the cast, there were some times in which their delivery faltered somewhat. Now, this may have been a deliberate attempt to encapsulate some of the laughable performances that you usually see from adult entertainers, but I'm honestly not sure that is what they were going for here. As I'm a nice guy I'll give the Quad-X crew the benefit of the doubt.
Finally (and this is a point I find myself making very often here at Hickey's House of Horrors) this is a low-budget indie flick. It's certainly not a badly made effort, but the production values on display here are significantly lower than you will see on most big studio films. I don't mind this (especially as it adds to the whole porno feel) but if your idea of a little low-budget horror flick is the likes of Insidious 3, you may well need to adjust your expectations accordingly.
THE VERDICT: Quad-X is not going to win any Oscars, nor do I imagine that it will fly straight to the top of many people's favourite movie lists. However, it is fun, entertaining, witty and has more than enough going for it to make it worthwhile for those who fancy a bit of humour. It has a likeable cast, some punchy dialogue, a surprisingly clever plot and offers a nice high body-count. It's far from perfect but it may well surprise those of you who wrote this film off as soon as you read the title.
If you want to find out more about Quad X, check out the official Facebook page for Twitchy Dolphin Flix here. Give them a Like while you're there too, I'm sure they'd appreciate it!
If you haven’t already, do please check out and Like the Hickey’s House of Horrors Facebook page, which you can find here. It gives you a nice quick link to any new posts on this blog, plus regular news updates from around the web . I check the Internet so you don’t have to!
Until next time, I hope you enjoyed your stay.
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