RAW REVIEW: COOTIES

Who'd have thought that the young boy playing video games in Back to the Future Part II would later star in one of the most successful movie series of all time, then go on to establish some serious horror credentials?

Elijah Wood is obviously a fan of our beloved genre (his work in Franck Khalfoun's Maniac remake is one of the strongest horror performances of the last decade) so when I saw that he was set to star in horror-comedy Cooties with a who's who of comic talent, I was eager to catch the movie.

Would this flick hit the spot? Or is it one to avoid like the plague?

Read on...

COOTIES (2014)

Dir: Jonathan Milott and Cary Murnion
Starring: Elijah Wood, Rainn Wilson, Alison Pill, Jack McBrayer, Leigh Whannell, Nasim Pedrad, Ian Brennan, Jorge Garcia, Cooper Roth, Miles Elliot, Armani Jackson, Morgan Lily, Peter Kwong

SPEEDY SYNOPSIS: I'll try not to spoil too much here but continue at your own risk.

Clint Hadson (Wood) is an aspiring novelist working on a frankly dire-sounding horror story, Keel Them All, about a possessed boat. However, to pay the bills he has taken work as a substitute teacher at Ft. Chicken Elementary School. Here he is reunited with former childhood sweetheart Lucy (Pill), but is distraught to discover that she is dating butch, alpha male PE teacher Wade (Wilson).
Upon starting work he is introduced to oddball Vice Principal Simms (Brennan) who is acting as head teacher and, high on a power trip, confiscates all of his staff's mobile phones.
However, this proves costly when a batch of contaminated chicken nuggets are delivered to the school that spreads a virus throughout the students, transforming them into violent, ravenous, flesh-eating ghouls. As the infection spreads a handful of surviving staff-members including Clint, Lucy, Wade, camp Tracy (McBrayer), abrupt and caustic Rebekkah (Pedrad) and socially inept science teacher Doug (Whannell) are forced to hole-up inside the school and try to formulate a plan of escape.
Meanwhile, outside the school a baked and tripping crossing guard, Rick (Lost's Garcia), is witnessing the events and REALLY struggling to keep his shit together.
Can Clint, Lucy and Wade overcome the tension of their romantic entanglements to fight together? Will the teachers escape the pre-pubescant horde? And can Clint overcome the various plot hurdles to complete Keel Them All?

THE BEST BITS (mild spoiler warning): Let's cut straight to the chase Cooties is absolutely hilarious. You'd expect nothing less with this level of talent involved, but it really is worth reiterating. The script, written by stars Whannell and Brennan, along with Josh C. Waller, absolutely sparkles with wit and the cast are, without fail, awesome.
The jokes are effective and a couple of the recurring gags in particular are especially funny, but the bulk of the comedy comes from the excellent characterisation. A real ensemble piece, each character has their moment to impress, which must have played a key role in attracting this calibre of cast.
First to Wood, whose Clint is a quiet, likeable chap and arguably the biggest 'straight man', of the cast, mining most of his laughs from the interaction he has with the larger than life characters around him. That's not to say that Wood is anything less than entertaining — he's a fantastic actor and very funny in his own right (the Keel Them All stuff is side-splittingly funny to anybody who has ever had to face the realisation that the story they're writing is actually a pile of crap) and he provides the human heart of the story, especially through his relationship with the sweetly likeable Pill.
Pill is delightful as the group's permanently upbeat cheerleader and you can't help see how why Wood's clint would have fallen for her. Pill is chirpy and cheery but shows enough restraint to keep Lucy from becoming annoying and her superb comic timing ensures she never gets lost among the more out-there characters.
Which brings us to Wilson's monstrous Wade, a towering, glowering performance of such machismo that he damn near runs away with the whole film. He's given plenty to do and, despite initial appearances that he'll be the guy you love to hate who ends up going out in a gloriously bloody way, he actually gets you onside as the film progresses and has a couple of surprisingly emotional moments. He's a big guy and he throws his weight around in some set-pieces that cause plenty of inappropriate laughter — a man of his stature clotheslining 11-year-olds really shouldn't be as funny as it is. Plus nobody delivers a poorly conceived toughguy quip like Rainn Wilson when he's on form and here, dear readers, Mr Wilson is well and truly on form.
Speaking of the kids, they're all fantastic too — I especially liked the work of young Roth as Clint's brattish nemesis Patriot, while the uninfected Calvin (Armani) and Tamra (Lily) also impress with their screen time.
Elsewhere Whannell is also a real highlight, his oddness coming to the fore more and more with each scene — I especially enjoyed his character's obvious glee at getting to dissect and investigate the source of the disease and constantly asking the silent group to calm down. Whannell is a talented actor and his writing is obviously at an extremely high standard. Finally, the devilishly acidic Pedrad has some of the best lines in the film, while McBrayer's elastic features and extravagant character traits, while underdeveloped, also raise some laughs, as does the always fun Garcia, whose terrific work proves justification for his otherwise pretty meaningless sub-plot.
The plot veers from drama to comedy by way of some surprising horror moments and this lack of predictability really works in the film's favour. You're never quite sure whether the next scene will cause you to laugh or scream (sometimes it's both!) and the film balances its horror and comedy finely. And yes, while I've raved about the humour, Cooties manages a couple of effective scare and gore sequences. The opening sequence, during which we are shown the origin of the contaminated nuggets, is utterly stomach-turning, while the suspenseful stalking sequence involving a tricycle and a vent is seriously tense. Lyle Vincent's cinematography ensures the film always looks great while you're laughing so hard you pee your pants or filling them in another way through fright, while Thomas William Hallbauer's production design is full of lovely little touches that are well worth keeping your eyes peeled for.
There's some great gore in the film, plus a truly spectacular gag late on, that shows precisely how talented the Fractured FX team is.
What's more, the film is entirely happy to go to some horribly dark places. Along with Wade's brutally violent dispatch of one of the infected children, we also get a horrible scene in which one of the zomblings clambers into a car with his baby sister and distracted mother — a scene which almost goes too far without ever being graphic.
That's quite possibly the film's biggest asset — Jonathan Milott and Cary Murnion know exactly when to show restraint and when it's the right time to go for belly-laughs, heart-stopping scares or visceral violence. Undoubtedly boosted by a sterling editing job by Brett W. Bachman, Cooties isn't always forging forward at breakneck speed, but when it does, it does it very well indeed.

THE WORST BITS (mild spoiler warning): There's very little to pick at in Cooties, because it really is that good.
I suppose we could hark back to the underdeveloped storylines involving some of the supporting cast — there's not much of an arc for Rebekkah, Doug or Tracy. What's more, I thought the genre might have moved on from poking fun at characters for being effete homosexuals? That pretty much seems to be the entire joke for McBrayer's Tracy, but thankfully it never comes across as mean-spirited, just a little awkward and tired. It's probably because the humour involved in the characterisation of the other characters was so much wittier that I thought this felt a little cheap.
Furthermore, while these characters were undoubtedly very funny, they weren't quite as compelling on a dramatic sense. The romantic subplot isn't particularly gripping (compared to fellow zom-rom-com Shaun of the Dead, for example) and the film definitely gets by more on its comedy accomplishments than its dramatic or horror credentials. If you go into this expecting plenty of laughs, you're in the right place. If you're expecting nail-biting terror or some deeper emotional engagement, you might be better off looking elsewhere.
Finally, strange as it may sound considering how much I liked the characters, I could have done with a higher body count. Whether played for gross-out splattery laughs or to up the ante and sense of danger, a few more fallen faculty members could have given the film a definite boost.
Ultimately though, these are minor personal quibbles in an excellent film that I'm sure will gather plenty of fans and has a real chance at becoming a cult classic.

THE VERDICT: Cooties is one of two fantastic horror-comedies released this week. It's probably the one that will find a larger audience and for good reason — with a sterling cast, plenty of laughs and splatter and looking a million bucks, this is a movie that screams quality. If this is the standard that all of Wood's SpectreVision films are aspiring towards, I shall continue to watch their output with great interest. But for now, I recommend, no, I implore you to watch this hilariously entertaining twisted little thrill ride. You will thank for me it.

Cooties is available to buy from Amazon here.

For more information, check out the film's official Facebook page here. Give it a Like while you're there too, show some love!

If you haven’t already, do please check out and Like the Hickey’s House of Horrors Facebook page, which you can find here. It gives you a nice quick link to any new posts on this blog, plus regular news updates from around the web. I check the Internet so you don’t have to! Alternatively, follow me on twitter: The House @HickeysHorrors

Until next time, I hope you enjoyed your stay.

RAW REVIEW: INSIDIOUS: CHAPTER 3

Along with Paranormal Activity, one of the first franchises to take hold in the post-Saw landscape is Blumhouse's Insidious series. The first came across as Poltergeist for a new generation (before some bright spark decided the world actually needed a new Poltergeist), while the second (reviewed here) was a decent sequel that never really hit the highs of its predecessor.

The third hit cinemas earlier this year and will get its home release on 12th October, just in time for Halloween.

But is third time a charm?

Read on...

INSIDIOUS: CHAPTER 3 (2015)

Dir: Leigh Whannell

Starring: Dermot Mulroney, Stefanie Scott, Lin Shaye, Angus Sampson, Leigh Whannell, Tate Berney, Steve Coulter, Ashtob Moio, Hayley Kiyoko, Adrian Sparks, Ele Keats, Michael Reid Mackay

SPEEDY SYNOPSIS: I'll try not to spoil too much here but read on at your own risk, needless to say there will be spoilers for the first two Insidious movies.

Set before the events of the first Insidious, Chapter 3 is the story of young Quinn (Scott) who believes that her recently deceased mother Lillith (Keats) is trying to contact her from the other side. Curious, she decides to contact a medium and comes across series regular Elise (Shaye). However, Elise is still getting over the loss of her late husband and has ceased using her gift after a series of threatening encounters with a malevolent entity (The Bride in Black from the first two films).

At first loathe to take the risk, she eventually acquiesces when she sees how much this means to the young Quinn. However the seance is cut short when the spectre of Parker Crane once again attacks. Terminating the session, Elise informs Quinn that she cannot help her but leaves her with a warning to be careful, for when you call out to one of the dead all of them can hear you.

Back home Quinn noticed some bizarre occurrences, including creepy noises, but she thinks nothing of it, distracted by attempting to learn her lines for an upcoming theatre audition. This proves extremely challenging though, as her father Sean (Mulroney) heaps far too much responsibility, essentially charging her with all the housekeeping and watching over her younger brother Alex (Berney) while he goes out tow work to keep a roof over their head.

After Quinn reaches New York she fluffs the audition when she is distracted by a shadowy figure gesturing to her. Later that same evening she spots the figure once again while crossing the road — however the distraction causes her to get hit by a speeding car, which causes severe injuries.

With both her legs broken and in plaster, Sean brings his daughter home and puts her to bed. However, her sanctuary soon becomes a cell as she realises that she is being stalked by a demonic entity from the Further, the rasping Man Who Can't Breathe (Mackay). As the otherworldly being's assaults become more vicious, Sean first turns to Elise (who once again nearly falls victim to The Bride in Black), then a pair of video-bloggers recommended by his son, Tucker and Specs (the returning Sampson and Whannell).

Eventually the desperate group are forced to rally together when they realise that the Man Who Can't Breathe has a very different MO to most of the predatory entities in The Further — rather than drag the souls of the living into the afterlife to possess their empty bodies, he takes them so he can torture their frightened souls for ever.

Can Quinn escape his vile clutches? Can Elise overcome her personal demons to battle this one? And what else is lurking in the Further waiting to strike?

THE BEST BITS (mild spoiler warning): Arguably the strongest element of the last two Insidious films was the character of psychic ghostbuster Elise and genre stalwart Shaye's sterling performances. Here, she's finally moved more into the spotlight as she's given a much more prominent role.

This really works, not least because the always fantastic Shaye is once again on tiptop form. Elsewhere Mulroney impresses, as well you might expect from an actor with his experience, while young Scott is also fantastic. She's a likeable young lady and, although this isn't necessarily the most complex role, she totally hits all of her marks, really nailing the vulnerability of her character. She looks legitimately terrified at times, which suggests she could make for a superb scream queen in the future. Here's hoping she sticks with the genre.

Of course a great cast is wasted if they don't have strong material to work with. Luckily Whannell's script is pretty damn good. In fact, I'd argue that Insidious 3 has some of the scariest moments of the entire series. This is thanks to the great villain, Mackay's Man Who Can't Breathe, a nightmarish creation, emphasising Mackay's gaunt features, a seemingly sickly man in a tattered hospital gown with an oxygen mask permanently affixed to his glowering face. Leaving a trail of black, oozing footprints and with his harsh, rattling breath, he's a marked improvement on Mrs Crane and her gender-confused son in the previous film. 

What's more, the character's unique M.O. and steadily escalating attacks, when combined with the vulnerability of our lead, makes for some genuinely unsettling setpieces.

Credit must also go to Whannell for the way in which the script and pacing keep these attacks interesting. For while the script does actually fall into a rather repetitive cycle of 'attack, lull, attack, lull' it remains interesting because each attack becomes more frightening and intense than the event that preceded it. Luckily, Whannell also realises when the attacks have reached their peak and has outside help get involved at exactly the right time.

Whannell took over directorial duties from his long-term collaborator and co-creator of Saw, James Wan. I've waxed lyrical about the respect I have for Wan's directorial style before, especially the good, old-fashioned way in which he  crafts his frights. If the likes of The Conjuring and Dead Silence taught us one thing about Wan, it's that he is a fan of horror classics, and I'm delighted to say that Whannell seems to have learnt plenty of top spooky storytelling tips from his colleague. 

There are some rocky moments here and there, but for a first time gig with a production of this magnitude, it's a fantastic effort. Whannell's style is a little rawer and edgier, less classical than Wan's, but the cinematography by Brian Pearson ensures that the film still looks absolutely gorgeous and that there's no glaring shift between Chapter 3 and the previous Insidious movies. This edginess adds to the danger of scenes, it keeps you on edge, a vital prerequisite in making those jumpscares payoff.

And yes, there are scares, plenty of them. However, unlike a lot of modern horror films that rely almost entirely on keyboard slam jolts, Insidious Chapter 3 combines legitimate, well-earned jumps with carefully crafted creepy atmosphere and proper horror thrills. For those of you who have grown tired of modern film-makers who seem to have confused jumps and vile gory acts of torture and mutilation with actual scares, this will be a refreshing breath of fresh air.

Finally the ending — I don't want to spoil it, but it's intelligent and actually suggests that the inevitable Chapter 4 could take place in two timelines, immediately after this chapter and again in the future, following on from the finale of Chapter 2. That I'm very much interested in such a film suggests that Whannell et al have done more than enough to keep me onside.

THE WORST BITS (mild spoiler warning): Insidious: Chapter 3 is a very good movie, however, it is not without its flaws.

Chief among these is the fact that, as great as the first two acts are, the third feels like it falls a little flat. It's almost as if the film was so beholden to reintroduce elements from the first two Insidious movies that it lost some of the momentum of its own story. As nice as it is to see Specs, Tucker and even Steve Coulter's Carl (albeit for one inconsequential scene), their inclusion is entirely unnecessary as Elise could just have easily swanned in at exactly the same point having had a change of heart through some soul-searching and the film could have had precisely the same ending.

I understand that it was done to show how Specs, Tucker and Elise became a team, but even that falls a little flat. A film in which all three were given plenty of screen time and would effectively utilise each other's strengths would surely have made for a more stirring take than 'Tucker and Specs are just charlatans who get bailed out by Elise who honestly doesn't need them in the slightest'.

Although I want to take this opportunity to talk about just how amazing the always excellent Sampson's Zangief-esque Mohawk and beard are. Bravo, sir. Bravo.

And now to the climax. While it does have some pretty creepy imagery, it's just not anywhere near as frightening as the scenes that have come before. It's not a total wash-out by any stretch of the imagination, it's just that my expectations were raised by the earlier scenes and sadly, it failed to live up to them.

That isn't to say that the well-crafted scares were also without flaw. Whannell is clever in that he slowly sucks all background noise and the score out of a scene before springing his jolts, a very unnerving trick indeed. However, once you notice that he's doing this, the brief moments of total silence before each jump effectively act as an early warning, which robs them of some of their impact.

Finally, the Brenner family, despite being brought to life by a talented cast, didn't quite have the depth of the Lamberts in the previous movies. Once again, I think they may have suffered from a lack of development due to a plot that tried to juggle too many balls at once. Maybe if they return to play a role in future instalments in the franchise they can be fleshed out a little more.

THE VERDICT: In a year in which recent rivals The Conjuring and Sinister also released sequels and spin-offs, it is Insidious: Chapter 3 that most certainly comes out on top thanks to a wonderful star in Shaye, superb direction from Whannell, a compelling story and some excellently crafted creepy set pieces. If you enjoyed the first film, or even if you just fancy something a little different from the endless conveyer belt of Found Footage horror films on shop shelves, this is a movie that's well worth your time.
You can buy Insidious Chapter 3 at Amazon here.

If you haven’t already, do please check out and Like the Hickey’s House of Horrors Facebook page, which you can find here. It gives you a nice quick link to any new posts on this blog, plus regular news updates from around the web. I check the Internet so you don’t have to! Alternatively, follow me on twitter: The House @HickeysHorrors

Until next time, I hope you enjoyed your stay.