RAW REVIEWS: GETTING SCHOOLED

There has been a real resurgence in nostalgia-tinted, Eighties throwback horror movies as of late.

And when you're talking Eighties Horror, was there any sub-genre more indicative of the time than the slasher movie?

One of the latest movies to join the swelling ranks of retro-slashers is Chuck Norfolk’s Getting Schooled. I was alerted to the film by Circus of the Dead director ‘Bloody’ Bill Pon (did I mention that you can catch CotD on iTunes now and that the DVD/Blu-ray is available for pre-order? Just checking…) and after doing a little research, was pretty hyped to see it.

After voicing my interest, the very cool guys over at Lucky Chucky Productions were kind enough to send a screener my way.

So is this a slasher that's too cool for school?

Or would I have to mark this one an ‘F’?

Read on…

GETTING SCHOOLED (2017)

Dir: Chuck Norfolk

Stars: Mayra Leal, Tom Long, Roland Ruiz, Jake Byrd, Susan Ly, Morgal Tyler, Ron Jeremy, Nick W. Nicholson

SPEEDY SYNOPSIS: I’ll try not to spoil too much here, but continue at your own risk.

The year is 1983 and a ragtag group of High School students are put into Saturday morning detention, including spoiled princess Hillary (Tyler), knife-packing delinquent Rusty (Ruiz), smart nerd Shelly (Ly), strapping jock Mike (Byrd) and social misfit Julie (Leal). When new substitute teacher Mr Roker (Long) enters the classroom, the wheelchair-bound Vietnam vet makes it clear that he’ll take no shit from any of them.

As the group uneasily settle in with each other an accident occurs, rendering the teacher unconscious. The students panic and try to revive the man, however, when Roker comes to he experiences violent flashbacks to his war days and proceeds to attack the teens with ruthless and ferocious abandon.

Barely able to subdue him, they lock Roker in a supply closet and try to work out what to do next.

However, little do they know that Roker is former Black Ops and now, in a state of paranoid delusion, he has mistaken them for Viet Cong adversaries and he is prepared to use every last trick he learned in combat to take each and every one of them down…

THE BEST BITS (mild spoiler warning): When creating a throwback horror movie, one of the most important aspects is nailing the feel of the era. This is something that Getting Schooled manages admirably.

It’s not just in the fashions and soundtrack, the characterisation and dialogue is straight out of some long-lost John Hughes Bratpack movie. This is only fitting for a film that plays out like some kind of bastard offspring of The Breakfast Club and Friday the 13th — with a little Full Metal Jacket thrown in for good measure.

This might sound like a bizarre mix, but it really runs with the premise, delivering a fun and at times frightening product.

The writing by director Norfolk, as well as Steven Scott Norfolk and Tim Norfolk is sharp, clever and, most importantly, feels like a real love-letter to the multitude of slasher flicks that packed the shelves of video stores back in the Eighties.

The dialogue sounds authentic, while the characterisation manages to conjure recognisable genre stereotypes (jocks, badboys and brainiacs among their number), but still make them individuals that you actually care about by the time the blood starts flowing.  

Of course, it helps that the film has collected a fine cast of very good actors, including adult film star Ron Jeremy in a very humorous turn as the school's cynical janitor.

At its core the movie is anchored by a trinity of sterling performances.

First, the very pretty Leal is a perfect fit for her character. She’s likeable and manages to give Julie a fine mix of toughness and vulnerability. She has a number of horror credits to her name already and I’m going to be sure to look up more of this talented actress’ genre work.

Second, Ruiz is clearly having a ball as badboy Rusty, which makes his performance all the more enjoyable for us, the audience. He nails the bravado and swagger of iconic slasher tough guys like A Nightmare on Elm Street’s Rod. It's hard work balancing the dickishness of such a character without just making him utterly unlikeable. To his credit, Ruiz pulls it off.

The final part of this successful and important triumvirate is Long’s barking mad Roker. This is a very tough role as Long is faced with the unenviable task of making a character who is unable to walk seem a legitimate threat to a cast of young characters depicted as being in their physical prime. However, much like the immense Stephen Lang in Don’t Breathe, Long delivers such a ferocious, no-nonsense performance that soon any and all doubts about the danger he might lose are soon dismissed.

He plays the role pre-breakdown like a tough teacher who is clearly not one to take any shit. Post-breakdown he becomes utterly unhinged, a savage, violent monster without mercy or morals.

In short, Long is utterly brilliant.

Of course, the cast are only as good as the material with which they work, and the plot of Getting Schooled, while very simple, delivers a solid, no-frills thriller, with a surprising amount of heart. The set-pieces are pretty nail-biting, while the gory kills are shockingly violent and often particularly gruesome, for those of you who like a horror to boast some splatter (and who doesn’t appreciate a little bloodshed in their slashers?).

It is in each of these scenes that we are also treated to a demonstration of cinematographer John Hale’s skills, as he and Norfolk show some real flair in bringing the horrific to life in a visually striking manner. The colour palette accurately reflects the films of the era to which Getting Schooled so clearly pays homage, but it also creates a captivating look for the movie in its own right, especially during the climactic moments.  

Yet as good as the film looks, I keep returning to its heart. The closing moments of the movie are surprisingly poignant, and may even elicit the odd tear.

I know, genuine emotion in a throwback slasher! Who’d’ve thunk it!?

THE WORST BITS (mild spoiler warning): As great as Getting Schooled looks, it is worth reiterating that this is a lower budget indie movie. If you’re used to slick, polished, Blumhouse-style wide-release horror movies, you may need to adjust your expectations accordingly.

These budgetary constraints, on very rare occasions, affect the production values of the film, hampering some effects shots for example, but they also have a knock-on effect throughout the movie. 
For example, some of the cast are relatively inexperienced, which means that some line delivery can be a little rough around the edges. Take into account that budget restrictions often also come with time constraints and you can see how how some scenes may not hit as hard as others. It’s clear that the cast are all very much invested in their parts, it’s just that sometimes one or two of them slightly misjudge moments. Luckily these moments are few and far between and only add to the throwback Eighties Slasher feel.

However, I do want to add that the team behind Getting Schooled have clearly worked very hard to get this movie as slick as it can possibly be and they have done a pretty damn good job with the movie.

It is that throwback feel that works as both a blessing and a curse to the movie. In short, if you never enjoyed Slasher movies during their heyday, I very much doubt Getting Schooled is going to convert you to the cause. However, if (like me) you are a child of the Eighties (and in particular, a fan of Eighties horror movies) I’m pretty sure you’ll love it.

THE VERDICT: What a pleasant surprise Getting Schooled turned out to be! It manages to be a familiar homage to the slasher classics of yesteryear, while still displaying some imagination of its own. But perhaps more importantly, it’s fun and frightening, with some tremendous performances and real emotional weight and pathos.

Pardon the pun, but Getting Schooled is a real ‘class’ act!

If you want to check the movie out, it’s currently on Amazon Prime here; Vimeo here; Vudu here or on Googleplay or iTunes. So what are you waiting for?

You can read more about Getting Schooled over at its official Facebook page here. Give it a like while you're there too, these guys deserve it!

If you haven’t already, do please check out and like the Hickey’s House of Horrors Facebook page, which you can find here. It gives you a nice quick link to any new posts on this blog, plus regular news updates from around the web. I check the Internet so you don’t have to! Alternatively, follow me on twitter: The House@HickeysHorrors

Until next time, I hope you enjoyed your stay.

RAW REVIEW: CONJOINED

In the past I’ve spoken about how horror and comedy make for a fine mix. Both provoke strong visceral reactions in viewers, the humour makes for a nice tension breaker between frights and comedy actively encourages the audience to laugh at the horror genre's more outlandish elements.

A month or so ago, I heard about Joe Grisaffi's Conjoined. With a premise ripe for inappropriate laughs, I knew I needed to check it out.

So would Conjoined stick with me? Or would I be keen to split?

CONJOINED (2013)

Dir: Joe Grisaffi

Starring: Tom Long, Michelle Jones, Keefer Barlow, Jacob Byrd, Sara Gaston, Deirdre Stephens

SPEEDY SYNOPSIS: I'll try not to spoil too much here, but read on at your own risk.

Lonely Stanley (Long) has been in an online relationship with the seemingly perfect Alina (Jones) for some time and has decided to take it to the next level. 
However, when the couple meet face to face for the first time, Stanley discovers Alina has been keeping something from him — her needy sister Alisa (Barlow) is actually her conjoined twin.
Stanley is alarmed at first, voicing his concerns to co-worker Jerry (Byrd) and an online cam girl Courtney (Stephens) with whom he has struck up an unlikely friendship. In time he agrees to make a go of it, not least because he really does love Alina and he doesn’t want to give up his one shot at happiness.
After the sisters move in, Alisa’s erratic behaviour, sarcastic outbursts and problem drinking start to cause issues, so the newly-weds decide to find her a man to help her settle down.
However, when the date goes badly, Alisa reveals that she is actually psychotic, brutally murdering her potential love match. 
As Stanley tries desperately to protect the woman he loves , he is forced to help hide the body. But as the blood-thirsty Alisa starts to claim more victims a tough police officer, Detective Waters (Gaston) starts to investigate.
Will she discover the truth? Just how many victims will the crazed Alisa claim? And how far will Stanley go for the woman he loves?

BEST BITS (mild spoiler warning): This one came as quite the shock! A low-budget comedy-horror can fall down on so many levels, yet Conjoined sidestepped potential pitfalls with ease.
The story, written by Chuck and Tim Norfolk, keeps you off balance and went to a lot of unexpected places. What I liked most about it is the steady shift in tone throughout. What starts off as an innocuous bad-taste comedy, a la the Farrelly Brothers, gets darker and darker, until, by the time the gory climax hits, it has shifted much more into a horror flick.
This works particularly well because at that point in the story the loveable characters have sucked the audience in, so as they start to hack one another to bloody bits we really do feel for them.
The characterisation throughout is superb, with just one seemingly left-field plot development for a character that left me scratching my head. The dialogue is witty, snappy and delivered well throughout. This is obviously helped significantly by the top cast. EVERY single actor in this flick nails their performance, something which is quite the rarity in low-budget indie horror. Long’s Stanley is suitably dorkish, yet his nerdiness is endearing, making him the sort of loser that an audience can’t help but root for. Long understands his role and he delivers in spades. Jones is wonderful as the sweet and impossibly perfect Alina. She has an air of Naomi Watts about her and has some top acting chops to go with her good looks. Barlow is something of a force of nature in this movie, she is gleefully deranged, a larger than life crackling ball of psychotic energy and she steals many of the scenes she is in. At times you can almost believe this very talented actress is actually genuinely unhinged. A wonderful performance!
The supporting players all deliver too, with Byrd, Stephens and especially Gaston all having their moments. My kudos to you all!
I’ve mentioned before that this is allow budget affair, but that doesn’t stop Grisaffi from getting the very most out of every single buck. He’s obviously a very good director who has an assured hand and steady vision for where he wants his movie to go. He knows his stuff and he gets the job done. No small achievement on the budget!
One area in which I was very pleasantly surprised was the sterling effects work by both Kristi Boul and Nick Rios. There are some awesome splatter moments in this movie, some played for laughs, some less so, but they always deliver the gory goods. 
Ultimately, I suppose that Conjoined’s strongest point is the amount of heart that has clearly been poured into it by everybody involved. The cast are committed and talented, and the film has a sense of fun written in by the Norfolks and gleefully brought to life by Grisaffi. These are the things that overcome any budgetary constraints. Sometimes movies just need to entertain, and Conjoined does so in spades.

THE WORST BITS (minor spoiler warning): Well, it seems a little mean to pick on a movie like Conjoined that does so much with so little, but that is why I’m here.
The film’s official Facebook page includes a description that reads:
A lonely man. An internet romance. A house with no doors. No shot list. Complete disregard for continuity. Plot holes you can drive a truck through. Lowering the bar for indie horror.
Now, I feel that the folks over there are being a little harsh on their creation but I did pick up on plenty of continuity errors throughout, not least one particularly glaring and disconcerting one in the final moments of the film. Also certain elements of the plot are unrealistic (science fact, conjoined twins are always identical and while Barlow and Jones are both very attractive, they are clearly quite different!)
However, I can forgive a comedy things such as continuity errors and plot holes because they are a work of entertainment —the far-fetched elements of the storyline are a big part of what makes them funny.
I praised the characterisation earlier and I stand by that, although I did mention a turn that knocked me for a loop. In it a likeable and pretty decent seeming character is suddenly revealed to have necrophiliac tendencies. WTF? Okay, it made that character’s fate a little more poetic, plus it served to advance the plot in some key ways, but it seemed quite out of character. Oh well.
Also, while I praised Gaston’s work as Detective Waters (and she was excellent) in the end, her’s was a character that served no purpose to the plot. Of course, when it comes to comedy a character that exists to spit killer one-liners and make you laugh your ass of is every bit as important as those that advance the story, but Waters doesn’t even get to share any screen time with the other lead characters!
Finally, some people may be a little shocked by how dark the movie gets — and it goes to some pretty bad places. This tonal shift may well jar with some viewers, I personally loved this shift in tone, all too often horror-comedies forget to include any actual horror elements, this cannot be said of the gory, disturbing climax of Conjoined.

VERDICT: Conjoined is a great, fun, horror-comedy movie. It’s cheap, brash and a little bit schizophrenic, but it is also entertaining and has a tonne of heart, a great cast and some top, top dialogue. This is a deliciously culty film and I imagine it will pick up legions of fans in the years to come. Give it a whirl, it will almost certainly surprise you.
If you want to get your hands on a copy, DVDs can be brought from the movie’s official website here (links to Amazon). There is also an option for a cheap online rental too!
While you’re online, why not head over to the official Conjoined Facebook page and give it a Like? Support indie horror!

If you haven’t already, do please check out and like the Hickey’s House of Horrors Facebook page, which you can find here. It gives you a nice quick link to any new posts on this blog, plus regular news updates from around the web. I check the Internet so you don’t have to! Alternatively, follow me on twitter: The House@HickeysHorrors

Until next time, I hope you enjoyed your stay.